In this article, you’ll learn:
- Why men sometimes suddenly lose interest in a woman even though everything seems to be going well.
- What to do once a guy loses interest and how you can get it back fast.
- The answer to your question: “Is he losing interest or just stressed – or am I paranoid?”
- One thing that almost guarantees men to lose interest in a woman.
- How spending ‘too much’time together, can cause him to lose interest.
How to find out if he has lost interest in you and how to fix it
So you have met a nice guy and things are going well between you. He does his best for you and he makes all kinds of plans with you and you know for sure that he likes you.
Then suddenly out of nowhere…
- He seems to lose interest
- He makes less contact with you
- He is not trying as hard anymore
What brought this on?
What can you do when he is losing interest in you?
I can imagine that this is confusing and frustrating for you.
That is the reason why I wrote this article. So you can know exactly where you stand in the relationship and what you can do t0 get him interested again fast.
Here are the 17 reasons why men lose interest in a woman:
Reason 1: He believes things are going too easy
This might sound a bit weird because if he likes you, it shouldn’t matter at all?
That is not completely true.
A man likes to ‘hunt’, he wants to feel that he has conquered you.
In other words:
He wants to do his best for you
A man loses interest when a relationship is taken for granted. This can happen after one date, but sometimes also after a long time in the relationship.
When he has the feeling that he doesn’t have to make the effort, he won’t appreciate you as highly. He will value you less and is less likely to enter into a relationship with you if you just started dating. So he literally loses interest in you.
What can you do about it?
Have him make an effort for you. Make it challenging. I don’t mean that you should act like an ice queen, but don’t make it too easy for him.
Reason 2: Work is currently more important to him
A relationship takes up (a lot of) time and energy, and there are only 24 hours in a day.
When his career is more important to him, he will eventually wonder if your relationship is worth the effort. And he will think:
“This relationship is all good, but it affects my career.”
What he does next is up to him. But in a case like this, try not to put too much pressure on him.
When men lose interest, it is often because they feel too much pressure. So to add even more pressure is not a good idea.
Even if you want to know where you stand at that moment, give him some space to make a choice. This way you will increase the chance that he will eventually choose you.
Reason 3: He no longer likes you
You might have heard the expression that you will truly get to know each other once you are in a relationship. And that is correct.
When you are only dating you can hide things from each other, but this is a different story once you are in a relationship.
You (literally) expose yourself to each other.
So it is possible that he will see you in a completely different light…
And this actually puts him off a bit. He is probably afraid to tell you this, but when it happens, you will notice that he loses interest in you.
There are two things you can do:
- Let him go. This might be difficult, but keep in mind that you deserve a man who loves you despite your minor flaws.
- Get him to fall in love with you again, so he will become more interested in you. In this article, you can read about the best ways to do this.
If you think that this might be the reason, then I recommend that you check out this article withthe 27 signs that he likes you.
If you recognize a lot of the signs in the article, then you know he still likes you and that there has to be another reason for him to lose interest.
Reason 4: He was never interested in a serious relationship
This reason is not very nice, simply because it may be painful for you. But men are sometimes just looking for:
- A person to talk to.
- A playmate in bed.
- Someone who gives him attention.
In other words, he was never interested in a serious relationship.
So the moment you bring this up, is the moment he loses interest in you. In this case, it is best to let him go.
Forcing a relationship with someone who never really liked you, is asking for trouble. And let’s be honest, you deserve so much more.
Reason 5: You suddenly expect more from him
Men want to feel like they can make choices freely.
It is possible that you gave him this freedom during the dating phase.
But suddenly something changes:
You have been dating for some time and now you suddenly expect more from him such as:
- Meeting your parents.
- Celebrating birthdays or holidays together with your family.
- Be available to you emotionally.
- Him committing to the relationship and not going out talking to other women.
- Think about you when he’s thinking about his future and the goals he wants to achieve.
This will make him feel like he no longer can make choices freely and the way he used to.
That change can make him panic
He will picture his freedom disappearing like snow before the sun andthink:
“What will it be like in five years, if she is already expecting so much from me now?”
The fear of being trapped in the relationship will freak him out and make him become distant. He will pull away and slowly lose his interest in you.
So my advice is: Slow down. Let him find out in time how nice you are and don’t try to rush things.
Reason 6: He needs more time to himself
When you are in love with a man you want to spend as much time with him as possible. But what about him? Does he want the same?
He might be becoming aware that he is spending less and less time with his friends, and his friends keep complaining about it to him.
Then he suddenly realizes how much time he spends with you and thinks:
“I want more time to myself.”
He’ll pull away from you, and when he is pulling away from you it seems like he is losing interest in you. But you shouldn’t worry about it, just give him some time for himself.
Research shows that 1/4 men (at some point), mention to their partner that they want to spend more time with their friends. These are brave men because there are a lot more men who are afraid to mention this.
Reason 7: Your sex life is no longer what it used to be
Sex is very important in a relationship. Research shows the following: the better your sex life is, the happier your life will be.
When your sex life is no longer what it used to be (e.g. boring) he will lose interest in you.
So ask yourself if this might be the reason.
If so, then it is high time to spice up your sex life and get him interested again. Make it fun and exciting again, and let his head run wild just thinking about it.
That is of course easy to say, but how do you do that?
In this article, you can read all about the 17 surprising things men want in bed, but will never tell you.
Reason 8: You behave differently than when you first got together
Chances are you don’t even notice this yourself because this simply happens unconsciously.
During the dating phase you might have been:
- More relaxed – because you didn’t have high hopes yet.
- Casual – because the relationship wasn’t all that important to you yet.
So you very naturally and unconsciously come across as laid back and more relaxed. But after a few dates with him you might think to yourself:
“Gosh, I actually like him.”
And you’ll start behaving differently
You will start to behave differently because you are afraid of losing him.
This will put him off, as he may have liked that casual and relaxed behavior about you a lot.
It then seems as if a man suddenly loses interest. But in reality, he is still interested, but in the woman he was seeing during the dating phase.
So it is important to continue to be yourself and behave like you were during this time, and treat him like you did when you first met.
Reason 9: He thinks you have developed some irritating habits
You’ve probably heard someone say that you should ‘just be yourself’at all times. This sounds great but we both know that this is an impossible task.
What I am trying to say is that we are constantly changing, sometimes without even realizing it.
This research shows that we are going through several changes in our personality.
Therefore, it is possible that you have developed some new habits lately. Habits he simply finds irritating that is causing him to lose interest in you.
You can solve this by asking him the following:
“What annoying personality traits have I developed in the past year?”
Don’t ask him what he thinks of you, as he will feel obliged to give a positive response. Instead, ask him the above question. Then he will be more likely to give you an honest answer.
Reason 10: You are trying to change him – and he notices this
Men really hate this.
Even if you have the right intentions, when you try to change him, it will really irritate him. He likes you, but once he notices that you want to change him, he will distance himself.
Look, men like to be… eh… the man.
When women try to change us – and we notice this – it feels like you don’t respect us.
Does this mean you shouldn’t try to change anything about him?
No, of course not.
I do understand that sometimes you want him to tell you what he’s thinking, or consider your feelings a bit more.
The problem is in the way you are trying to change him:
When you literally tell him that you want to change … [fill in something that you want to change about him]… it will put him off.
Luckily, there is a way in which you can ‘change’ him without him losing interest in you. Here you can read how you can do this.
Reason 11: He feels like you don’t need him or appreciate him
This is another typical male behavior…
But it is important for men to feel important. He wants to feel that you need him.
If you always act independently, you therefore actually say to him:
- ”I don’t need a man.”
- “My life is great as it is.”
- “I don’t really care about us.”
This will set his alarm bells off. He doesn’t feel important and respected at that moment, which is making him more distant.
It is very ironic but men can lose their interest because they have a feeling that the woman is not interested.
You can easily avoid this by telling him that you need him. I don’t mean that you should literally say this to him, but ask for his help now and again. Even when you don’t really need his help, the point is that it will make him feel appreciated.
Reason 12: He is no longer madly in love with you
All good things come to an end, including the butterfly feelings in your stomach.
That’s usually after two years. After that, you mainly stay together because of the ‘love hormone’ oxytocin.
So after these two years, it might seem like he loses interest in you, and it is possible that:
- He makes less effort for you.
- He spends less time with you.
- He’s less affectionate with you.
This doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It is normal that you try harder at the start of a relationship to make it work.
You get complacent, and it’s normal. But if you are willing to put in some effort for the relationship (the fact that you are reading this article says you do) you can easily turn it around and make him fall in love with you again.
Reason 13: He has doubts about the relationship
When your relationship is not going very well, it could be because he has doubts about the relationship.
At that moment he is not completely certain whether you are the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with.
And because he has doubts, you get the impression that he is losing interest. You instinctively want to do something about this as fast as possible.
You want to know where you stand and of course, make the relationship work
That is understandable, but he is definitely NOT interested in any serious talks or difficult decisions during this time.
So keep that in mind when you want to get him interested again as fast as possible.
You can mention to him briefly how you feel, but give him time to make up his mind in peace.
Reason 14: He’s losing interest because he’s under a lot of stress
Many ambitious men suffer from this.
They want to do well in their careers and put a tremendous amount of stress on themselves to succeed.
But it can happen to everyone from time to time. This stress causes him to pull away and it will seem to you as if he has lost all interest.
His stress could be caused by:
- Depression because he hates his life or workand doesn’t know how to solve it.
- Financial trouble. He could be in debt or lost a lot of money because of a poor investment.
- Incredibly overwhelmed because of work and not sure if he can handle it.
- His ex-wife and the mother of his children is making his life difficult. Such as lying to his son about him, not being reasonable with child support, pickups and dropoffs, etc.
- Dealing with the law. Maybe he’s a witness in a criminal investigation, or worse, facing charges/being sued.
- Someone close to him is having a life crisis. Perhaps a close friend just got cancer, his father is about to go bankrupt and lose his business, or his mother can’t take care of herself anymore.
There could be a million reasons why he is stressed.
But here’s the thing…
If he is very ashamed of what has happened (such as losing a lot of money on a poor investment), don’t expect him to reveal this anytime soon.
The last thing he’d want to do is to tell you something that might make you see him as a loser, and therefore risk losing you as well.
It’s much more likely that he’ll mention it to you if it’s something that doesn’t make him ‘look weak‘. (Someone close to him getting into trouble, his ex being a nightmare, etc), then it is for him to say that he hates his life or that he can’t handle all the work his boss is giving him.
Here is something you can say (without judgment) that will make him feel safe and increase the likelihood of him opening up to you: “If you’re feeling stressed about something, I just want you to know that I’m here for you without judgment”.
Give him space and show him that you love him and that you’re there for him, without judging him.
Reason 15: He has unprocessed trauma that he must process (alone)
Everyone experiences unpleasant experiences now and again. For example, one of his closest friends might have died.
You can see that he is distraught and you try to help him where possible.
Even when he pulls away and asks you to leave him alone.
You cannot understand it, why is he acting like this?
At moments like this, it is better to give him time to himself
The fact that he doesn’t want to talk about it, doesn’t mean that he is less interested in you. It just means that he needs to process his grief, and men do that differently.
Women: Prefer to talk about their problems.
Men: Prefer NOT to talk about their problems and will try to solve it themselves.
So give him time to process his emotions.
Reason 16: He’s showing signs of having a fear of commitment
You have been seeing him for a while now and your time together flies by. That is how much fun you have together. And many dates later, things are still great.
But suddenly he seems to lose interest and pull away.
You really don’t understand what is happening. But he feels that the relationship is becoming ‘too serious’.
And suddenly he’s showing signs of having a fear of commitment.
His ‘fear to commit’can have multiple causes
- He has had a traumatic experience.
- He just came out of a (bad) relationship.
- He finds it difficult to trust people.
- He is afraid that you will sooner or later break his heart.
- He is not sure whether you are the right person for him.
Whatever the reason behind his commitment issues, it is important not to put too much pressure on him.
So telling him that he should make a decision if he wants to be with you within X number of days is not a smart move.
What you can do in the meantime is to check out this article, which includes my 11 best tips to conquer the commitment-phobic man.
Reason 17: He has found somebody else
This is by far the most unpleasant reason, but when you get the feeling that he is losing interest, it is possible that he has met someone else. But he doesn’t dare to tell you.
So in fear of the confrontation, he instead says:
“I want to take things a bit slower.”
Ok, what do you do now?
The first and the most important thing to do is to find out whether there is another woman involved.
If that is the case, it is best to let him go. But before you make any hasty conclusions, make sure you know exactly what’s going on. So you don’t waste what could’ve been a great thing.
This was the reasons why men lose interest in a woman, and what you can do to get him interested again fast
It’s absolutely possible to get him interested again once he loses interest.
More often than not it comes down to giving him space, waiting patiently, not rushing to any conclusions and immediately assuming the worst.
What makes a man to lose interest in a woman? ›
1- When something weird happens in your man's life, their stress level gets increased. Due to this, they seem to be detached from you. You also may not see them investing in the relationship. During that time, you should be calm and give company to your man rather than complaining about his behaviour.What makes a man suddenly lose interest? ›
Something in his life has changed.
When a man loses interest in you, something has often changed. But that probably doesn't mean you did. Think about how many times in your own life a new opportunity, plan, or idea has come forward all of a sudden. This can happen to your guy too.
Once a guy loses interest can you get it back? Yes, you can get a guy's interest back once he loses it because he was once captivated by you. Your job is to figure out what's changed and fix it. Most men don't just wake up one morning and decide they've lost interest, it's a process.What a man does when he loses interest in you? ›
If he has stopped bothering about his looks/personality, doesn't care about his behavior, or has stopped making an effort to be romantic, he probably is losing interest. You may feel that he has stopped trying to impress you, making romantic gestures, and being curious about the things in your life.How do you get a guy interested in you again? ›
Show genuine interest in him to put him at ease.
If you told someone you weren't interested in them and then you start to like them, start up a conversation and ask questions about how he's been. That way, he'll feel like you really care, which may make him start thinking about you again.
Men pull away due to multiple reasons ranging from fears, insecurities, or anxieties to desperation or loss of love. It is crucial for you to figure out the reason behind his pulling away to protect your relationship. And probably the best way to deal with it is to give him space.How do I keep him interested? ›
- Go on regular dates. ...
- Spend time by yourself. ...
- Go back to where you had your first date. ...
- Focus on communication. ...
- Laugh together. ...
- Get away together. ...
- Try to understand each other. ...
- Listen to Them.
Most people lose interest in their relationship if they feel a lack of love, support, appreciation, or romance. Some men may become distant if their partners are too clingy and controlling.Can lost feelings come back? ›
Even if your relationship has been stale for years, if both of you are willing to work things out despite losing feelings for each other, it can eventually come back. Trust me on this one: feelings of “love” come and go, it ebbs and flows.How do I make him feel the spark again? ›
- Boost your dopamine —together. ...
- Kiss more often. ...
- Remember what it was like when you first met. ...
- Make a list of sexual possibilities. ...
- Keep the mystery alive. ...
- Get in touch with your own sexuality. ...
- Seek out a sex coach.
Can the spark come back? ›
This is a myth. While it's normal to lose the spark in a relationship when you get comfortable, you can always get it back.How long does it take for a guy to return? ›
How long do men take to come back after no contact? Roughly 4 weeks of time alone should be enough to get back into the normal rhythm of the single life. It might feel messy and strange at first, but after 30 days you may find yourself feeling much better. While 30 days is a good rule of thumb, everybody is different.What to do when a guy pulls away? ›
Give him space; stop worrying about what you did to turn him off. When he withdraws, it can negatively impact your ego and self-esteem. So, shift your focus – get busy or distracted. Don't stop your daily routine and don't feel guilty about focusing attention on yourself.How do you tell if a guy has lost feelings for you? ›
- Phone calls and texts have steadily decreased. ...
- Quality time together has started to dwindle. ...
- Intimacy has become scarce. ...
- Things are becoming increasingly one-sided. ...
- He dodges questions about your status or where it is going.
- Don't Be Quick To Take It Personal. ...
- It's Not A Reflection Of Your Personal Worth. ...
- You Don't Like Every Person That Likes You Either. ...
- You Can't Force Someone to Like You Back. ...
- Give Yourself Time To Process How You Feel. ...
- Avoid These Common Social Media Pitfalls.
- Ignore and fuel his ego. This method allows you to control how he feels. ...
- Become less available. ...
- Get busy. ...
- Play his game. ...
- Stay back and watch him come. ...
- Show your worth. ...
- Don't be easily triggered. ...
- Ignore some of his texts.
- Feed His Ego.
- Send Him A Picture.
- Dress Up.
- Use Body Language To Entice Him.
- Show Genuine Interest In His Hobbies.
- Wear Some Perfume.
- Play Hard To Get.
- Send Him Little Treats.
- He Is Afraid Of His Feelings For You. ...
- He Feels He Is Being Pressured To Do Something. ...
- He Is Being Put In The Spot Frequently. ...
- He Is Burdened With Past Trauma And Disappointments. ...
- He Is Finding It Difficult To Live Up To Your Expectations. ...
- He Is Not Comfortable With Expressing His Love.
How long is the pull away phase? A guy generally pulls away for a few weeks when the issues he's dealing with are solvable throughout that time. Those issues can be things such as deciding whether you two are a good match, when he's not sure about how he's feeling, or fear of his feelings, etc…What makes a high value woman? ›
A high-value woman knows her real value. She is aware she is highly desirable, and so has high standards others need to meet to have an intimate relationship with her. One of the most important traits of a high valued, highly desirable woman is her self-confidence and deep sense of self-worth and self-esteem.
How to be a good girlfriend? ›
- Be faithful always. ...
- Be his encourager. ...
- Appreciate him for who he is. ...
- Attend to his needs. ...
- Build upon his dream. ...
- Allow him to be 'your hero' ...
- Listen to him. ...
- Respect his privacy.
Anhedonia is a word that describes a reduced interest in activities an individual used to enjoy, as well as a decreased ability to feel pleasure. It's a core symptom of major depressive disorder, but it can also be a symptom of other mental health disorders.Can you lose feelings for someone you love? ›
Feelings of love can and do fade, but this generally isn't a rapid process. And it's very normal to feel a lot of discomfort in the meantime. Here are some tips to help you through this period: Have patience with yourself.What goes on in a man's mind during no contact? ›
The male mind during no contact
The no-contact rule male psychology forces him to recognize his loneliness. After a breakup, if you stop contacting him, he will feel free and enjoy this phase as much as he can. But, with time, the loneliness and guilt pang will start to kick in.
- It's not too late to rekindle that flame. But it's going to take work. ...
- Listen to What She Says. If you've been together for years, it can be easy to assume that you know what your partner is thinking. ...
- Open Up to Her. ...
- Make the Everyday Special. ...
- Put More Effort into Your Physical Appearance. ...
- Have a Regular 'Date Night'
Is it possible to stay in love for the long-haul or fall back in love after falling out of it? You may be surprised that the overwhelming answer for many in the scientific community is YES. Real, lasting love is possible.How do you make him miss you more and more? ›
Simply be courteous and keep some physical distance between you two whenever you meet. Let him have his space but do let him know you miss him once in a while. Remind him of the fun things you did together before but not anymore. Communicate instead of giving the cold shoulder, hoping to send a message.How do you make your man fall crazy in love with you? ›
- Dress up confidently. Save. ...
- 2. Make him smile. Who doesn't want to be around someone who makes them laugh? ...
- Take a stand for him. ...
- Smell great. ...
- Take an interest in his hobbies and interests. ...
- Carry your style. ...
- Try to be his friend. ...
- Be yourself.
- Make sure you're what they need. ...
- Try to look your best. ...
- Be a good listener. ...
- Don't stop smiling. ...
- Find out what they're passionate about. ...
- Leave a little mystery. ...
- Play hard to get. ...
- Mutual friends can be helpful.
- Lack of communication.
- The relationship doesn't take priority for one or both partners.
- Physical or emotional withdrawal.
- A feeling of resentment toward one partner.
- Dishonesty and trust issues.
- Purposely distancing yourself from affection or intimate connection.
How do I know if relationship is over? ›
- There's no emotional connection. ...
- Communication breakdown. ...
- Aggressive or confrontational communication. ...
- There's no appeal to physical intimacy. ...
- You don't trust them. ...
- Fantasising about others. ...
- You're not supporting each other and have different goals. ...
- You can't imagine a future together.
- Don't blame yourself. ...
- Accept the truth about your relationship. ...
- Try to understand your feelings. ...
- Now it's time for you two to have a conversation. ...
- Take a break. ...
- Reignite the bedroom. ...
- Spend some time. ...
- Show gratitude.
So, a few weeks to two months is the answer to the question, “How long does it take for a guy to miss you?” Typically, men realize what they lost when they can't find a woman with their personality. By then, they learn not all women are the same, and they shouldn't have broken off the relationship.How long does it take a man to miss a woman? ›
How long does it take for a guy to miss someone? According to the experts, it will take between two to four months before he starts feeling lonely. He'll be doing everything possible to block out his emotions during this time. But once he surrenders to them, he'll start missing you.How do you know if he will eventually come back? ›
Things You Should Know
Your ex might return if they unblock your number and keep an eye on you with social media. They may also try to contact you again. Once you're talking again, your ex might reminisce about the past, compliment you, ask to meet in person, or apologize for their mistakes.
- 1) Don't be afraid to pull away. ...
- 2) Ghost him. ...
- 3) Get advice specific to your situation. ...
- 4) Make him feel rejected. ...
- 5) Let him question your feelings for him. ...
- 6) Exploit his vulnerabilities. ...
- 7) Live your best life! ...
- 8) Look your best.
How long should space in a relationship last? Ultimately, this depends on what you and your partner decide is best for your relationship. “Space can be from a couple of hours to a couple of days or weeks,” says Ruiz, though he generally doesn't recommend his clients take longer than 3 to 4 weeks.Will he chase me if I walk away? ›
Men like the chase
You might not know that men like the chase, which is why walking away is powerful. If you take the opportunity to walk away from an individual that isn't putting in the same effort that you are into the relationship, this might cause him to want to chase you and make it up to you.
- 7 Signs It Might Be Time to Let Go.
- You Feel Anxious When You Aren't Together. ...
- You Don't Feel Like Yourself. ...
- You're Giving Way More Than You're Taking. ...
- You and Your Partner Keep Score. ...
- You Suspect Your Partner Is Gaslighting You. ...
- You Make Too Many Excuses for Them. ...
- You've outgrown the relationship.
- Understand that you're worthy of love.
- Focus on accepting and loving yourself.
- Lean on your support system.
- Ask yourself, what does this person really mean to me?
- Unfollow them on social media.
- Watch out for "people, places, and things"
- Resist the urge to reach out.
What causes someone to lose interest? ›
Losing interest or pleasure in activities or people that once gave you enjoyment, may be due to overworking, relationship problems or being in a temporary rut. However, a loss of interest in many things or people, that is ongoing, can sometimes be a sign you have a mental health condition.How can I stop him from losing interest? ›
- Give him his space. You might think by giving him his space, you will lose him. ...
- Focus on yourself. Your self-esteem may take a hit. ...
- Let him come back to you. If you believe in your heart that he's the right guy, let him come back to you.
- Consider what has changed.
- Remind yourself about your partner's good qualities.
- Take an interest in your partner.
- Appreciate and respect one another.
- Show empathy.
- Open the lines of communication.
- Go on dates.
- Phone calls and texts have steadily decreased. ...
- Quality time together has started to dwindle. ...
- Intimacy has become scarce. ...
- Things are becoming increasingly one-sided. ...
- He dodges questions about your status or where it is going.
Fun and excitement are two key elements of a romantic relationship. So, if you want your man to be interested in you again, then I suggest you start doing fun activities together or go out on exciting nights together. I know that sometimes that is easier said than done, but it's worth it!How do I ignore her to get her attention? ›
- Don't be too eager. ...
- Stay strong. ...
- Don't respond to texts right away. ...
- Live your own life. ...
- Be patient. ...
- Act busy, but not too busy. ...
- Don't be rude. ...
- Pay attention to your intuition.
- Make a unique first impression. Save. ...
- Mind your appearance when you are around her. ...
- Show her your mysterious side. ...
- Exude confidence. ...
- Hold back a little. ...
- Don't be clingy. ...
- Keep any romantic feelings for her a secret. ...
- Be the one who knows her best.